College Lessons Freshman Year

Dear Incoming Freshman,

     Congratulations on making it this far in your education career.  Now be prepared for your life to be over.  For the next four years your life will be hell unless you follow these life altering lessons, something that no one ever told me.

Lesson #1 Understanding its up to you
     Welcome to college where every decisions rests upon your shoulders.  Everything you decide can have a ripple affect.  Choose to study and you will succeed but have no outside life.  Choose to party and you will have a life but fail in school.  Choose to be somewhere in the middle and you will do just fine.  This is the key to having a successful year.

Lesson #2  Learn it the first time.
     The first time you hear something in class could be your last.  If you have a teacher who is able to read 53 powerpoint slides in 50 minuets you know your class is behind.  Therefore you will only go over this for one day.  Ask questions.  ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS!

Lesson #3 Beg your teacher
     Beg for homework to get pushed off for an extra day or two.  Eventually teachers give in because they are tired of listening to you, and because they feel bad for pushing 53 power point slides in 1 day.  If you have a one in a million guy who's always causing trouble, John Smith, and he always begs for the homework to be push off use it to your advantage when he is not in class.  Say "this will make John jealous that we got the homework pushed off," or "if we get out of class early John will be so upset because he didn't convince you first".  Having that one person that the teacher can barely stand is a great advantage.  This is  because you both have something annoying in common.

Lesson #4 Read the book
     When a teacher tells you "it might be a good idea to read the book" actually do it.  They aren't kidding when they say that.  College material is so much harder than high school.  Taking an hour of your day to read a chapter is not to bad once you get through it.  Plus you will be more prepared for the class.

Lesson #5 Play Pranks
     When the stress of a teacher finally gets on your nerves play a prank.  Fishing string usually works until they turn the lights on.  These little pranks will relive some of the stress and anger you have toward a teacher because of all the homework, note taking, paper writing, and test taking.  Make sure you do nothing harmful or destructive.  The funny little ones will do just fine.

Lesson #6 Prioritize
     Teachers tell you that you should study 3x the amount that you are in the class room. Seriously? There are only so many hours in the day so make sure you spend your time wisely.  During the weekdays it is often hard because of sports, clubs, and work for those who have jobs.  Weekends are often easier to get work done if you aren't going out partying all the time.  What time you have left should be spent in the library.  I learned this the first semester. I spent a good 3 hours a night in the library doing homework.  My grades boosted up just from spending 3 hours in a quiet area with no distractions.

Lesson #7 Group work
     Strategy is important here.  If you are allowed to pick your own groups here a few grade saving tips.  First, pick someone who is genius.  That way you won't have to work that hard because this person is just good at being smart.  Second, pick a good guesser or bull shiter (excuse my french).  Often group work involves guessing or making things up.  A good guesser or bull shitter (pardon) comes in handy.  Third, pick someone who is good a googling.  Looking things up online is tedious work, but a good googler knows the short cuts.  Fourth, that person who doesn't do anything.  Key here is being funny.  That way they make the work fun, and you're not sitting there bored to tears.  (If you are in Adair's Chemistry Class DO THIS!)

     If you follow these 7 lessons you will do fine in school.  I wish someone would have told me these first semester because I was horribly stressed.  Knowing these ways around the system and finding ways to make class enjoyable would have helped my stress levels and I would have had an easier time adjusting to the college life.  Taking your education into your own hands is vital importance.  In high school everyone was "spoon fed", but now you are on your own.  Good luck to you and your future endeavors.

Chris